Paradoxically, what immediately surfaces for me when i consider enoughness is the consistent and persistent feedback I have received about being too much.
Not being enough has its roots for me in being told I am too much. I have been told repeatedly that I am too passionate and intense, too sensitive, too reflective, too thin and too fat (at the same weight), too affectionate, too radical, too happy. That my hair and dancing are too wild, my ideas and degrees too many. That I talk too fast, love too deeply and desire too much from life.
Too much has translated over the years into shameful feelings about not being enough, not a good enough daughter, mother, friend, scholar, artist, human being. And I believed I should dim my light because it burns too bright. But maybe, perhaps my too muchness is a gift, what my soul seeks to express and contribute and radiate. It continues to be a tender journey into a life where I am beginning to feel that too much may be exactly enough.
About Melissa Rivera
Melissa Rivera is a writer, dancer and scholar. She writes about love, art and alchemy, dances for self-exploration and expression, researches learning rooted in creativity and social justice, and co-creates artful reflection experiences. She lives with her husband and two young children in Florida and muses at soluna and 3 Sisters Village.